News on 4th March

We have received information that if you say your mum in class, you will be slapped by Mr Fong. Ow. Thats why we should all respect your dad. If your mum is mentioned in class, Mr Fong would be wrathful and violent. Don't want that to happen, eh? Good. Also, talking crap in Mr Johari's class would be severely dealt with and don't judge Mr Tan by his movements as looks can be deceiving. Also, be careful. Never do your little talking during Ms Teo's class. Like to receive a detention? No right? Good. Stop being so inquisitive during her class. Remember: Queue up nicely or else confusions will arise, and you will be scolded by Ms Jamie Tan, no chance D:

This marks the end of today's newspaper. Your dad would be happy reading it.